Pull the curtain
by Fickerstein
Summary: Kyle had to move to Cartman's house. Eric is in love with the Jew, the last one want to take advantage of it for a revenge... SLASH KYMAN Lime ch.3! :D
1. 1 WTF!

I'M FRENCH SO THERE ARE (I think) MANY MISTAKES : D.

My apologizes. T.T

So I wanted to write a « Kyman » fiction. There it is. I hope you'll enjoy... Thanks you for reading and no pay attention to grammar mistakes hehe....

Chapter 1: WTF?

I'm in fucking love with you, Kyle.

I used to drive you crazy, making you hating me more and more each day.

All for what? For hiding my true feelings for you. Because I'm in love with you, in fucking love with you, Jew!

I wanna love you freely, but I better not.

I know what would happen if I'd tell you.

With your cruel device and your blood like ice...

You will stare at me, with this fucking look that could kill me.

How can you love me, that bastard who've been annoying you since so many years?

All those jokes, insults...

I made you hating me as much that I loved you.

I was caught on your web. I tried so hard to erase you of my heart, to really HATE you, but I don't know hate: see, you think that I can't bear you, while I can't pass a day without hearing your sweet voice, even if it's for telling me "fat ass."; without seeing you, your skin, your green eyes, your curly red hair... Oh god, not again.... I have to stop this once time for all.

Well, it will be simple to stop this, if god was by my side.

And of course, he wasn't. How funny.

Your mom died, and your father wanted to leave South park, saying it was too many memories which were hurting him here. He found a job in California, and wanted you and Ike to follow him. But none of you wanted it. Then, your father come to MY house, and decided with my own mother's accord that you and your brother will live with us until you're 18 and leave for work or university. Of course I cried at my mom that I hated her and that she had done an ENORMOUS MISTAKE; that jews are problems... But she just answered "But my dear, they'll be homeless if we don't take them with us." I hated my mother with her goodness.

Few days later, you and Ike were resident of my home. My mother was always taken with her "job". So we were alone. Easy for her to gather people, since she wasn't at home.

"What are we eating tonight, fat ass? The fridge's empty."

"If you still call me like that, you'll be eating my garden's snails., you jew."

"Fine! If it means not eating with you!"

"I always knew that you were such a poor that eats everything he found."

You hit me, and we began to fight. Yeah, that was like that since you lived with me. Fortunately, your little brother was always here to seperate us, until one killed the other. I was upset, but happy at the same time. I was more and more in love each day, but I refused to recognize it. I used to observe you everyday. You always explode your alarm clock at 6:50 am when it began to ring. You were always grumpy in the morning 'til breakfast. You were foot dragging while going to school. Then when you came back to home, you did your homeworks, and couldn't miss TV news and Terrence and Philippe's show at 7pm. Of course, you took care of Ike everytime. You were such a good brother, dude. And at night, when you were truly asleep, you always talked while you were dreaming. You were so cute that I could stare at you all night. And if you knew that, I'm sure you'd kill me in the second. Hum hum.

Day to day, I became nicer to you. No more "poor jew", or songs about your fucking mother that I couldn't bear, even if she's dead! I think you noticed that, because YOU became nicer too. You began to always have a thought to me. "Cartman, you ate too chocolate, you'll be sick."; "Cartman, I've prepared breakfast... You come?" ; "Cartman, I washed the floor. Be carefull, it slips." or even a little "YOU FAT-ASS! DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU COULD DIE WHEN YOU TOUCHED THAT BULB WHILE YOU WERE SOAKED?" because before, you wouldn't say anything and hoped that I'll die.

Time passed by, and I was blushing all the time when you were near. All your moves made me feel like I was about to die. I needed you like a heart needs a beat. Your voice was electric to me. I wanted my life to never change or end. I LOVED my life the way it was. I think I realized my true feelings the day that Bebe cheated on you. You came back home and locked yourself in your room. Ike was still at school. I talked to you through the door.

"GO AWAY FAT-ASS."

"Kyle, open this door."

"FOR WHAT? YOU'LL KICK ME AND SAY COME OOON KAHL', YOU'RE A FAAAG! AND THEN ADD THAT IT WAS SURE THAT SHE WILL CHEAT ON ME BECAUSE I'M AS SHY AS A 5TH GRADER?"

".... Kyle. I understand that you are sad. You were in love since 4 months and all, but... She's just one of all the girls of the world. And... And you're cute, I mean, every girl at school noticed you. It won't be difficult for you to find another girlfriend."

"I don't want another girl in my life."

"KYLE! STOP BEING UNRIPE AND OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR."

You opened the door and lied on the floor, heading your tears. I stayed quiet.

"I don't recognize you. Few months before, I'm sure, you would tell me that I'm a fag and laughed."

"I think I've learnt how to support you."

You smiled. And my heart missed a beat. I couldn't ignore it anymore. I was loving you since all that time.

"I think you better break up with Bebe. Even if you two are still in love. I don't want to see you sad again."

"..... Yeah. Yeah, thanks... Cartman."

Then you did what I adviced you, and Bebe was always looking at me with that gaze that means "if my eyes were guns, you'd be dead." at school.

Since that day, I was contemplating you every second at school. My marks began to shut down. I wasn't listening anymore. (Not that I've listening at those fuckings lessons before, but still...)

Sometimes, I was drawing you. Thanks god, only Kenny had noticed that. This guy was gentle with me: with all those "YOU'RE POOR, KENNY." and others remarks I've made to him, he could just scream to the world that I'm gay and I'm in love with the Jew, and ruin my life. But he didn't.

In june, Wendy organized a party for her birthday. We were all drinking, and none of us was sober. I was talking with Kenny, when he said that no one loved me because I was an Asshole. Because of all those vodka, beer and I don't know what, I was a little kiddish and I started to cry, hitting the table, repeating "AS I'M SUCH AN ASSHOLE, I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF. IN THAT WAY, YOU'LL BE ALL HAPPY.". Everyone looked at me worried. Finally, you came and hugged me; saying "I LOVE you. See? There's one person in this world who cares." People were surprised and chocked. I think we were thinking the same: Anyone would say that to me, but it was YOU, the one who used to HATE me the most. You smiled, and kissed me. Five minutes later, you felt asleep on my side, on the table, a bottle of vodka in the hand. Next day, you didn't remember anything, like majority of people who went to the party. I know that Kenny remember. He is looking at us strangely, those times.

And everyday, it hurts.

I'm sick of holding myself of kissing you.

I'm sick of all those girls who approach you.

I'm sick of the fag I've become, I'm such a coward who can't just say three fucking words. " I. Love. You."

I can't take it anymore, jewish. I HAVE to tell you.

Today I went to school late. I didn't want to see you on the morning before going for class. At lunch time, I heard your steps behind me. I heard you calling; and it's needles and pins.

"Hey, Fat-ass!"

I ignored you. I can't face you, I can't meet your eye, and lie to you, saying "Yeah, I'm fine." I just can't.

You followed me, still calling,

"CARTMAN!"

Shit. I stopped. You faced me, with an angry gaze.

"Cartman, I think we have to talk. You've been ignoring me ALL week."

It's always "Cartman"; or "fat ass". Never Eric.

I wanted to hurt you, just to hear you screaming my name. Perhaps it's another reason that making me sort of hating you; but loving you at the same time. Damnit! I don't understand anything anymore.

I wanna love you but I better not touch  
I wanna hold you, but my senses tell me to stop  
I wanna kiss you but I want it too much  
I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison  
Your poison running through my veins...

"Earth to Cartmaaaan...."

_Poison is burning deep inside my veins._

Why was I in love with YOU?

I wanna kiss you until we're out of breath, I wanna hold you until the world ends, I want all of you for ME.

Wait.

…. I've lost my mind, now it's clear. Just for this stupid red haired jew, who's standing in front of me, looking worried. Gosh, I'm always thinking of him. That sucks.

"...... Cartman?"

…. I think it's HERE that I've lost control.

"WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT, YOU JEWISH BITCH? CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE JUST ONE TIME IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE?"

"Fuck off! What's wrong with YOU?"

"What's wrong with ME? You don't remember Wendy's party, DO YOU?"

" I...."

"NO you DON'T. I thought that it was better that way, but I was mistaken! If you remembered, then perhaps you've understood, and I'll don't have to tell you all that fucking stuff!"

"Wha-What are you talking about...? What stuff?"

"I LOVE YOU, KYLE. FUCKING TRULY LOVE YOU."

I looked you in the eyes.

"... Okay, stop it, that's the best joke you ever did; blahblah, now we have to go to class."

I felt on my knees, taking my head on my hands. At the moment, I wanted to die. I opened my heart to you, and you thought that I was JOKING.

".... Cartman... Don't tell me..."

"I won't tell you again. I will PROVE it."

I closed the distance between our lips, desesperatly.

GOD! DON'T TELL ME I DID THAT.

I said I was loving you. And I kissed you. And all in the HALL of our SCHOOL.

I was SCARED. Full of FEAR.

First, you were paralysed in front of me, searching what to say, or what to do, I don't know.

And second, I heard steps behind me. Shit, shit, shit. Is in that way that my life is gonna be ruined? God, damn it. The person behind me broke the silence.

".... Cartman. I'm going to kill you."

Oh shit. Everyone but HER.


	2. 2 Between love and submission

Okay so, here is the next chapter... I hope you'll enjoy it, even if I often do some grammar mistakes! My apologies for it! Don't hesitate to review!

* * *

Chapter 2 : Between love and submission

_"... Cartman. I'm going to kill you."_

Oh shit. Everyone but HER. When I was going to answer something like « It's not my tiiime » as George Clooney does on Nespresso's tv spot with an ironic tone, I was cut by Kyle, who had suddenly recovered his -lovely- voice.

_« Nobody's gonna kill anyone! »_

He moved between that stupid bitch and me.

_« How can you say that, Kyle? He IS the one who adviced you to break up with me, even if we still loved each other and that I swore to god I'll never cheat on you again! Then you suffured because you couldn't forget US, and now HE told you his feelings the day that would be our 1 YEAR! »_

Fuck it. I wasn't aware of that.

_« Oh, shit, I spoiled this romantic day! Poo-hoo-hoo. »_

_« SHUT UP YOU BAST- »_

_« STOP IT NOW! »_

The blond bitch and I both looked Kyle, quietly.

_« Look, Bebe. I know that you're really angry, and in a mood to kill, but... »_

He seemed to be thinking very hard for a few seconds, and continued:

_« ...But he said that because I told him to. »_

…. What?

_« I was suffered as you said, and I wanted to test you, to know if you really still love me... »_

...Is he actually helping me?

_« Oh, Kyle! »_

Bebe jumped in Kyle's arms and kissed him gently. I raised an eyebrow, surprised. He looked down, and walked with her to the exit of the school, leaving me on my thoughts. I think we'll have a lot of things to talk about when we'll get home...

I mean, ME, the extremist nazi, his ennemy since so many years who almost killed him once or twice (voluntarily or not)... Told him « I love you »; He could laugh out loud, and spread the rumor in ALL THE SCHOOL. And then cut my balls... Figuratively, of course. But still.

He found a lie, an excuse to explain that to his ex (Or have I to say girlfriend without the « ex » before, now?) to avoid me of dying. (Seriously. The last time she was in a fury, she almost killed Butters because he knocked down her High-School-Musical's eating box with Zac Efron Pancakes. So imagine if someone « stole » his « boyfriend »...)

Shiiit! I've just pulled her into his arms again! I'm such a I-miss-everything-that-I-undertake-guy.

When I'm thinking to it, tears are ALMOST spilling over. (I've too much pride to cry in front of all those assholes.) But man, I'm really about to cry, to get out of my nerves. If there was a gun seller in front of school, I'm sure he'll be a millionaire. (Not only for heart-broken dudes, but for the ones who can't bear another fucking math lesson. I'm one of the both categories I quoted.)

The rest of the day passed so slowly, even if I pushed some kids's head on their spinach plates on midday. He ignored me. I tried to forget the event of the morning, because the moment I remember it, I embrace sadness. So I stared on my sit, looking to the clock and praying it to speed. For a moment, I concentrated and focused on it, like Hiro does in HEROES. But unfortunately, I'm irrevocably a normal guy. (If homosexuality is considered like a normal thing 'cuz I know in Russia, a guy said that if you want to militate for homosexuality's cause in the streets of his country, you'll have to know how run as fast as a pig with burning ass.)

Finally, this fucking red clock rang the end of suffer. All the kids ran out of the class, screaming « YEAH YEAH WE ARE WEEK-END! WOO-HOO »

I'm silently hoping that they will NOT sing a song about how week-ends are cool due to High School Musical move. Thanks god, they didn't. Worse of it. They sang a Phil Collin's song.

« I remember mama said  
You can't hurry love  
No you'll just have to wait  
She said love don't come easy  
It's a game of give and take  
How long must I wait  
How muck more must I take  
Before loneliness  
Will cause my heart, heart to break? »

Okay. I'm running to home right now before killing all of those "Phil'hippies" with just a pencil.

Kyle came back as late as he could. As usual, my mother wasn't at home tonight. It's better this way, I think. I was sitting in the sofa, finding interest on my feet. He didn't bothered to turn on the lights. He sat next to me, finding the same interest on his feet. We stared like this in a time which seems to dure an eternity to me. Finally, I spoke.

« …. So... Congratulations, dude. You're not single anymore. »

« I think it better be "Hey, congratulation duuude! You're in a big mess now! I'm glad I'm not you!" »

« What mess? You're with Bebe again; it seems to be cool. »

« I'm not in love with her! »

« … But you... »

« I was just saving you of an eminent death. »

« Why? »

He looked at me like if I was a fluffy pink long-teethed rabbit dancing tecktonik.

« Because you're my friend! »

… How a fag I am, thinking for a minute that he'll answer « Because I love you too. » I wanna kill myself right now. I faked a smile, but still didn't meet his gaze.

« ...Thanks, dude. »

He smiled. This fucking smile I'll die for. My heart's racing. I looked away, hiding me blushing. He managed to climb the stairs, and stopped in the middle.

« …. I'm confused with my true feelings right now, but... »

I kept my gaze down while my heart missed a beat. His voice was hesitating. I finally looked up to him. He seemed to be hardly thinking, again. Then he ran down the stairs, and approached me slowly. Gently, he came close to me. I could feel his breath in my neck. He whispered:

« …. I just... Wanna know... How it feels. »

And he kissed me. I shivered. … If I was a girl, I think I'd said that: "OW CUTE HE IS WHEN HE'S BLUSHIING KYAAAH." But I'm not into that... You know, fangirl attitude. And even GIRL attitude for short! I couldn't help but pass a hand over his chin, and let the other ramble behind his shirt. He suddenly intensified the kiss, introducing his tongue in my mouth, exploring it with ardor. I felt so unaware of the world around right now. It was just the two of us. Just him, just my happiness. He ended the kiss too soon. He repulsed a strand of his curly hair back and looked me into the eyes, with a mix of so many feelings that I can't say what he's actually thinking. I broke the silence; improvising a talk.

« I think you've just cheated on this bitch right now. »

He laughed, nervously.

« I'm just... Not sure of what I'm doing. »

I effloresced his skin, his torso. He bit his lips.

«... It's so good to be by your side... »

I whispered, posing my head against his chest, listening to his heart. He blushed. (I noticed this EVEN if we were in a dark place because I'm powerful! …. Joking. Hum.)

« … Cartman... »

I shut him by another kiss. This one was more passionate than the other. He caressed my cheeks softly, while his other hand ran through my hair. I pulled him closer to me. I was submerged with all that sweetness -He tasted candies even if he's diabetic, believe it or not.- I couldn't take it anymore, I flipped him onto the couch, throwing his shirt away to kiss his torso freely. He moaned.

« Cartman... I don't think this is a good idea... I mean... Ike's upstairs. »

It didn't take me too long to seek a solution to carry on...

« You're right. »

I raise him as easy as a potatoe bag and take him on my car, on the garage I locked.

« … How romantic. »

« Have a better idea? »

« … It'll be fine. »

« Bebe will REALLY kill me when she'll know. »

« I'm not gonna tell her. »

« That we'll be our little secret...? »

« Exactly. »

He pushed me against the pillow in the back seat and kissed my neck, massaging my shoulders. I was going to let him manage all, but I remembered that I was the dominant male, so I grab his hand, kissed it and swapped our places. He made me know that he disapproved it with a little sigh and said:

« You're pushing me Between love and submission, and I'm not that obedient, you know... »

I smiled.

« You'll respect my authority soon, you'll see... »

He sighed again, with an amused look on his face. That was the end of the conversation. The night was just beggining...

* * *

I think it's a little short but I'll make it better next time! Please support me by reviews :3 you'll be so nice.

See ya !


	3. 3 Making out on the Twingo

**WARNING. EXPLICIT YAOI/SLASH SCENE D :! **

I would have warned. : )

Geez, that was the first chapter I first wrote in French, so it was very very difficult to traduce ALL in english. SO, sorry if you'll read a few words that doesn't exist xD.

Thanks for reading, and a very very big thanks for the people who reviewed, because it supported me ! Please review !

Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

Chapter 3: Making out on the twingo

I wasn't aware of the time anymore. I haven't any clue of what time it was. And anyway, I didn't give a damn shit. My lips moved on his in a perfect synchronisation. I was like in a dream... But if it was, I think that all of that wouldn't be in a simple twingo. Or my luxure wasn't at the point I imagined... The twingo wasn't that bad, thought.

I ended the kiss and went to explore every piece of his skin with my lips, covering his body burning with desire with multiple kisses. We were just enlightened by the moonlight, passing by a little windows of the garage, so we haven't much light but I think it was better like this. Because despite of my burst of enthusiasm, I was constrained by the situation. A part of me was screaming me to stop, that I will regret it, that tomorrow at dawn, Kyle will say he regretted and that I better forget it all. But the other part said "What do you care for, Eric? Just enjoy the present moment, damn the consequences, damn the next day." I was dazzled by all the love, or the desire, that I felt at the moment. I was so enamored, I wanted Kyle so much since so long, I just cannot imagine stop it all, repulse him and go upstairs to sleep like never ever happened. I climbed down his torso, igniting a little more the body burning with desire of the ginger every time I put my lips on him; and stopped on one of his tit, sucking it gently for a moment, snatching a little scream of pleasure of Kyle, who was biting his lips when he saw a sadistic smile on my face... While continuing my maneuver, I moved my hand down on his crotch which was swollen by desire and was cramped on its tissu jail... I take his pants off, and send it on the car's dashboard, soon joined by his underpants, freeing his erection. Kyle was scarlet now, his cheeks was red and a few drops of sweat beaded on his sweet face. He didn't dare to look at me anymore, constrained to being naked in front of the one who was his worst enemy by the past. If anyone in the past told me that I will make out with Kyle, I wouldn't believe it and laughed at it so much that I will have deformed my head by typing it against the table.

I kissed Kyle again, as tenderly as I could, and started tickling the extremity of his cock with the tip of my tongue, masturbing him with my right hand at the same time. The jew's breathing became more rapid, jerky. He stifled his groans in his expirations. I almost forgot that Ike, his little brother, was sleeping upstairs... But seing him refraining from making too much noise seduced my sadistic side. giving me want to push him to end, so that biting his lips was no longer enough to retain his cries, even if we might be surprised by the Canadian. I finally took entirely his sex in my mouth, beginning back and forth movements; making Kyle sighing. He began to grow impatient. He exasperated me to succeed to keep his self-possession. I accelerated the movement, then stop a few seconds, and resumed on several occasions.

« Caa...Rtman... What are you...Doing...? GnnnNNnh... »

His voice was like an electrochoc. My entire body shivered. Jesus, why did he have so great a power over my whole being? I can't believe it. I'm so vulnerable to him. I'm disgusted myself, be so helpless in a silly red Jew completely naked.

« ...Cartman...? »

Oops. I did not even realize that in my confusion I had stopped moving. I took the time to re-look Kyle's so delicate and fragile body. Her skin was so pale that you would have thought that it was porcelain ... I was roused from my dreaming by a hand caressing my cheek. The redhead took off my shirt and pushed me so that I fall back on the back seat. He sat on me and applied for soft suck on my neck as he undid my belt. He finally took off my jeans and underwear, he threw with his reach at the front of the Twingo, which the windows were tinted by the fog produced by the heat of our bodies. He took a deep breath and began to lick my "little soldier" as I was amused to call ... Then he caught it all in his mouth, which made me gasp in surprise. Not knowing what to do with my hands, I ran them through his disheveled hair. I do not know if it was the first time he did that, but at least he was doing very well ... Each movement gave me a wave of pleasure spreading throughout my being. I was so drunk in all the joy and pleasure I felt that I didn't even realize that I murmured the name of Kyle during this time. He didn't flinch for a second, and still get me pleasure, to the point that I thought I would ejaculateonce for all in his mouth ... I pushed him back in time. He looked at me, puzzled, while I regained my breath a bit, then pushed him against the door of the car. I slipped my hand a little further down between her thighs, and introduced a finger in the privacy of the one who made me completely insane ... The latter swallowed and buried his head in my neck which made me smile. I introduced a second finger, and made a scissors motion, trying to accustom Kyle presence. Her moans of pain turned into moans of pleasure. After a while I found him whispering in my ear that he was ready. I penetrated him as gently as I could. I now felt a mass of desire to the small of my back ... It exceeded all my expectations, I had imagined the act itself, but I never had imagined it so ... Perfect. Kyle clung more tightly to my shoulder, and my back and forth movements became more and more difficult to control, my desire pushed myself to go faster, how that dirty Jew could still have his self-control at a time like this? This annoys me so much in fact, that I penetrated Kyle suddenly to such an extent that the twingo's door opened, and we both fell on the garage's icy ground. Our jerky breaths filled the silence around us.

« You're really...Irrec...Coverable... »

« It's not my...Fault... If this sutpid banger... Can't resist to... Turbulences... »

Kyle sighed, looking up at the sky and abruptly thrust me back to the interior of the car, closing the door behind him, and sitting astride me.

« I hope that... The rear of the car... Won't interrupt us too. »

And then I don't know how to describe the scene other than to say he began to ride me (...) I won't comment. I couldn't think anymore, I was so captivated by Kyle. He moved his hips up and down, just like I wanted it to be. If he knew, the happiness he gave me with his rhythmic movements. I am unable to describe the whirlwind of feelings I had throughout the night. That night we followed our whims, that love (for me anyway ...) was stronger than reason. We groaned in unison, trying to make as little noise as possible. I was going to liberate me in him when a sudden he stopped short. I looked at him questioningly, and then suddenly realized what attracted his attention. The rearview mirror. Which reflected the scene unfolding in the car. Kyle blushed and averted his gaze from the mirror. Her hair fell over his eyes, drops of sweat beaded on some wavy locks on his forehead. He peered into mine. We stood for a moment like this, to look at each other in the eye. Then finally he sighed.

« I let you the commands. I confess that I am extremely confused right now... »

« I told you that you'll respect my autoritah... »

« Hmmpf... »

I moved myself above him (movement very hard within the confines of a beach behind a car ...),and kissed passionately before re-penetrating with ardor. My movements became more rapid, Kyle bit his lip blood now, remembering me my desire for sadistic ... I began to give him a hickey on his neck well marked at the same time as I was entering him ardently. And finally, I ejaculated in him in a sigh of relief, while he did it too; moist between our two bodies. It was as if at this precise moment, all the hatred we had for each other went along with our self-control.

« ERRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC! »

I was flabbergasted. Did he just ... call me "Eric"? Did he just scream my name? No time to think about more, the light of the corridor lights. Shit. What to do? Where to hide? I hear footsteps down the stairs.

Then, the garage door opened...

* * *

Oh and I wrote it at 4:03AM to 6:30, then I went to bed xD. So sorry for mistakes ! Kissu!


	4. 4 Grey sky mornings

Hi! Okay so to clarify a little bit the story I decided to write Kyles' point of view for this chapter. I will go on on the story the next chapter! Review?

* * *

Chap 4: Grey sky mornings

**Kyle's POV**

When Bebe cheated on me and that we broke up, I was... Empty. It was like something had just disappeared, something that was making things beautiful, something giving a meaning to my life. I wasn't able to smile or laugh anymore. Grey sky mornings were my only company. I acted like a zombie: I was there at school, but it seemed to me I was always miles away. Nothing mattered anymore. No one mattered anymore. I was like a doll, a puppet, which threads's moves were dictated by life; forcing me to move on. I ran away and hid my pain, isolating myself from the rest of the world . A month passed, without me noticing anything. I wasn't aware of the time passing by. She stole my world, She brought me down. She broke my heart and soul. Finally all this pain became hate, anger, that helped me to release and forget all this mess. I wanted revenge. I wanted to see her crying and suffering as much as I did; screaming my name in desper. Today I know that I don't need her back. It's over. Cartman was right. Cartman is always right. She's just a bitch. Even if she was the best thing I ever had...

I was so submerged in pain those last days that I didn't notice Cartman's feeling for me. Of course in good times, I would have noticed it right away. I don't pretend to be as attentive as Kenny to remark something, but I'm rather good at it. First, I thought that he was joking: how this nazi could be in love with a jew? It's against nature! It's like... I don't know. Like if a dog was in love with a cat? I can't find an acceptable example. But then I looked in his eyes, and I saw a gaze that Cartman never had before. I can't said what kind of look... I didn't think to it a long time, because and idea pop up in my head. Perhaps it was my prayers that gave echoes to the angels, and they send me something to revange. Imagine: she still love me, and found out that I am in love with someone else. What's more: it was A BOY! And worse: it was ERIC CARTMAN. That was so machiavelian that I laughed! Gosh I'm becoming as evil as Dark Vador..!

And as if angels decided that this day will be my rebirth, Bebe had heard Cartman saying that he loved me. So prefect... But I will wait, and act at the last moment, to break her as much as possible... So I saved Cartman from the bitchy blond.

_« Look, Bebe. I know that you're really angry, and in a mood to kill, but__ he said that because I told him to. I was suffered as you said, and I wanted to test you, to know if you really still love me... »_

That was right. I said that to see if she still loved me. And that was right... She kissed me and I knew that my plan will work... Perfectly.

I spend the evening to Bebe's house, saying all she wanted to hear. I'm such a smoothie when I want... And when I come back "home" (I think it's the word as I live there with Cartman now...), I didn't expect that Cartman will be still awake. I was seized by doubt. Why did I want to revenge? Why not just stop the story now and forget? Perhaps Cartman was really in love...

… No.

No! He MUST be joking, he just wanted to bring me as down as he ever did before! Well if you want to play this game, I will play too! Two birds with one stone.

I sat next to him and acted like if I was lured by him. I'm such a good actor, you know? As much as I am a smoothie I think...

« …. I'm confused with my true feelings right now, but... »

I make my voice trembling while I approached the fat boy and whispered near his ear:

« …. I just... Wanna know... How it feels. »

… Before kissing him. And there, all felt overboard. He responded to the kiss, and I wasn't able to think as he posed his head against my chest. It's not like if I was in love with him. I just... Loved the contact between us. It awoke my injury, the void in my chest that hurt me for so long... I remembered all the moments with Bebe, our first date, our first kiss, our first "time". Why? Why it's so fucking hard... Why did it hurt so much...? Cartman and I are mouth to mouth and still I can't suffocate! I just can't relate! Then I remembered all the pain that I endured. All thoses days, spending my time waiting for something that would never come. Something that could bring hope back. Something to bring me to life again! I was so angry that my cheeks became red. Oh whatever. It will pass like if I was blushing. I let Cartman take control of my body. I emptied my head of all the thoughts I could have. And I let it go. I can't believe that I... I... With Eric... AH! I said ERIC! And not Cartman! God what's the... Ok ok, calm down Kyle. It's just the revenge that took control of your body. Yes it has to be that... But go so far... AW FUCK! DOUBLE ENTENDRE SENTENCE! Anyway, that was... Good. 'Til the garage's door opened, and Cartman's mother entered and saw us naked in the car. We stared silent for a moment. And then Cartman talked.

-... Mom, I'm gay and I'm dating Kahl.

-Oh. Alright kitty! But Mom needs the car right now... She has to go to Denver see a certain man...

Cartman whispered. We both knew that she was going to Denver just to fuck and go back here. Poor guy... I gave him a sympathetic look. He took my hand and bring me to his room, where we felt quickly asleep, exhausted by our recent... Activity; while the roar of the car's engine rang on the first floor...

You would said " You haven't any pride to let him use your body like this?". And I will answer: you're right. I've lost everything. The only thing left is the bitterness of a loved one. I've nothing to lose. NO-THING.

When I woke up today and I saw his face... I knew there was something wrong. HE was the one who hasn't any feeling or pity for anyone. HE was the one who doesn't care about what people can feel. But I was the one who will make him suffer... Because I quickly realized that I needed him by my side. I needed his kisses. His eyes always looking for any danger that could hurt me. His words whispered on my ear... All the things he does since 2 weeks now. Our "relation" was still secret. We didn't want anyone to annoy us.

I was aware that I was everything for him. He truly was in love with me, believe it or not. I was all that he ever wanted. He always says the right things at exactly the right time. But he means nothing to me. I was very confused. A part of me was guilty, ashamed. How could I do this? I had no right to make him suffer. He has been so gentle with me lately, like a friend would be. He was here when Bebe broke me. It wasn't fair. But the other part (highest) was cold, emotionless. He fucked up my life so many times by the past! He HATED me! He wanted my death!Who cares about him? NO ONE! He's just a fucking asshole! A pawn in the checkerboard of my plan. And pawnes have to be used to do a checkmate.

Why have I become this heartless guy...? Pretty simple. There's nothing left inside for me to break. I'm already broken.

* * *

That's all! Thanks to the band Vertical Horizon; their music inspired me. Hope you liked the chapter!


End file.
